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Old 04-24-2021, 10:35   #1
JJ_BPK
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Saturday Morning Chuckle

Something to put a smile on your face..

1)An old picture from grade school, how we all have changed

2)Tattoos are only as good as the skin you ink

3)For my VFOG friends, we can commiserate

4)Refresher for the 18D's
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Old 04-24-2021, 11:19   #2
Old Dog New Trick
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LMAO!

Thanks needed that!
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Old 04-25-2021, 04:05   #3
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2x thumbs-up!
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Old 05-03-2021, 06:22   #4
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Sadly the Oompa Loompas can't be unseen.
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Old 05-03-2021, 06:25   #5
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It looks to me like there may be a 6th toe there…or at least a small side car
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Old 05-03-2021, 07:55   #6
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Lol, those toes my gosh they could pick cherries from a tree. Ewwwwww....
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:34   #7
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Some things you simply cannot unsee
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:21   #8
TJ11B
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You could climb a tree without using your hands with those feet. Must be a real pain in the ass trying to find a pair of shoes that fit.
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:11   #9
Swoop
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I believe those toes are made for strictly sandals……or true barefoot
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Old 05-04-2021, 08:50   #10
rsdengler
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Those toes need a nice snipping....hahahaha....
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:53   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
I believe those toes are made for strictly sandals……or true barefoot
Bro...
Those toes are absolutely not meant to be in sandals. They are very much not meant to be barefoot either.
If I came across those two Oompa Loompas at the scene of an automobile accident, both of their legs would be put in traction splits before being rushed to a trauma center.

Dear sweet eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus - that is one of the most horrific pictures ever posted on this site and you want to put them in a pair of sandals?


Scene setter:
Joe and Molly are fresh out of boot camp. It is their first pay day weekend and they are sitting at Applebee's® Neighborhood Grill + Bar waiting for a delicious fajita dinner. They don't even have their own car - they had to take an Uber from Fort Notaconfederategeneral (previously known as the home of the airborne).

They order their fajitas and the waitress is bringing their food when the person with those feet walks past the table wearing a pair of fancy sandals.
The waitress is startled - she stumbles and the scalding hot metal dish lands right in Joe's lap. As he leaps to his feet in agony he accidentally propels the scalding cast-iron dish right into Molly's face.

Molly falls back in her chair knocking a tray full of drinks to the floor - the hostess slips on the wet floor and ends up smashing her temple into the corner edge of the table on her way to the floor. An elderly woman still weak from her months long recovery from COVID is on her first night on the town since falling ill - the sudden flurry of action and injury seems to have scared her so badly that she begins clutching at her chest and complaining that she can't breathe...

The Paramedics arrive just as the old woman goes into arrest. They lower her to the floor and charge the defibrillator - the Paramedic sees those fucking feet and prematurely discharges the paddles. A spark jumps from the paddles and completes the circuit between device and the beer soaked floor. What comes next - what happens to everyone in contact with that huge puddle of spilled beer - is simply tragic...

Both Paramedics, the old woman, her daughter, her grand daughter, her husband, and the hostess are all hit with 360 Joules of electricity from the defibrillator sending them all into ventricular fibrillation.

Joe has 3rd degree burns on his crotch. Molly's face is permanently disfigured. A waitress is dead from a traumatic head injury, two Paramedics, a hostess, and three generations of a happy family are now dying from a lethal cardiac arrhythmia.


All because those fucking feet danced into an Applebee's® Neighborhood Grill + Bar covered in nothing but a pair of sandals.



COUNT.ME.OUT.
- I want no part of such a calamity. Just knowing I had condoned such behavior would keep me from ever enjoying another plate of 'Riblets' for the remainder of my days.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Last edited by Box; 05-04-2021 at 12:02.
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Old 05-04-2021, 13:51   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Bro...


COUNT.ME.OUT.
- I want no part of such a calamity.
Just knowing I had condoned such behavior would keep me from ever enjoying another plate of 'Riblets' for the remainder of my days.
You were banned from going back to any Applebees after that incident. You've been told for years the importance of foot powder and dry socks while patrolling, but nooo you didn't listen, now look at your tootsies...
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Old 05-04-2021, 14:03   #13
rsdengler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Bro...
Those toes are absolutely not meant to be in sandals. They are very much not meant to be barefoot either.
If I came across those two Oompa Loompas at the scene of an automobile accident, both of their legs would be put in traction splits before being rushed to a trauma center.



All because those fucking feet danced into an Applebee's® Neighborhood Grill + Bar covered in nothing but a pair of sandals.



COUNT.ME.OUT.
- I want no part of such a calamity. Just knowing I had condoned such behavior would keep me from ever enjoying another plate of 'Riblets' for the remainder of my days.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA....DED....
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Old 05-04-2021, 15:05   #14
JJ_BPK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Bro...
Those toes are absolutely not meant to be in sandals.
COUNT.ME.OUT.
- I want no part of such a calamity. Just knowing I had condoned such behavior would keep me from ever enjoying another plate of 'Riblets' for the remainder of my days.


U fummy, GI
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Old 05-05-2021, 05:13   #15
Swoop
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Bro...

COUNT.ME.OUT.
- I want no part of such a calamity. Just knowing I had condoned such behavior would keep me from ever enjoying another plate of 'Riblets' for the remainder of my days.
My apologies to all that misconstrued my comments as encouragement for wearing sandals…..I merely meant that there was no way that those Octopi tentacles could fit in anything other than sandals. After further consideration and much reflection, I guess a burlap gunny sack would be a better choice.

Beating my boots until told to recover.
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