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Old 08-31-2014, 14:19   #121
angus mac
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I cannot go to a pro. I will lose my job. My wife is very sick and we need the insurance. Besides I do not want,nor can I trust anyone,other people knowing about the experisnces I had to deal with. I do'nt discuss these things with anyone,not even myself,I just want to not feel,(or re-feel)how I felt at the times I am talking about. The thoughts I can deal with,the feelings are what rocks me. I am talking about all the way to my spirit. The thoughts would be ok,just not the feelings that always come too.
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Old 08-31-2014, 20:50   #122
Toaster
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Well as you're on the road alot, you could always stop at a Catholic Church (or any denomination) and talk with the Padre. Most Christian pastors keep their mouth shout about what people discuss with them. If it's in a town you are just driving through, you'll probably never see them again. Talking about things helps.

While you're driving listen to a motivational or inspirational CDs or something, Zig Ziglar for instance. I find it hard to have negative thoughts when I'm listening to someone that's very cheerful and energetic.

Garbage in, garbage out. You'll think about whatever input is going into your life. Be careful about what you let in.

I'm also not a professional, just applying the rule of "if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting".
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You can change what you are and where you are by changing what you put into your life. -Zig Ziglar


"Nothing is more dangerous than an NCO or Officer who has been taught a technique or method, but doesn't understand the underlying principles or the "why" behind it." -MtnGoat

"How can someone improve their ability to lead? Die to self.

The most rewarding thing a leader will receive is having someone place their life in your hands and say, I will follow you." -SGT Gary Beikirch

Last edited by Toaster; 08-31-2014 at 20:52. Reason: Last line added
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Old 08-31-2014, 21:20   #123
angus mac
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Men thank you for responding to me and I will take the advice that Toaster gave. I am not physco,un-stable or crazy. I am not a threat to anyone,nor am I suicidal. I know perfectly well the difference from right and wrong. The mind tells the body what to do,always. The stuff I am talking about is like I am going through something all over again;with my eyes wide open I see things and feel it just like when it happened. I pray a lot,I am a believer.Thanks men.I'm out.
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Old 09-01-2014, 17:26   #124
Toaster
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I'm hoping that my recommendation of talking with a man of the cloth is the one that you are going to take.

The second is a supplementary measure, to give additional benefit after the first measure.

The second would likely not be enough on it's own. You'll probably learn something and have revelations about life and your thinking and will then need to express them in person, to make sure that you can clearly express it, and that they understand.

Find a Padre and talk. Many of them are trained in counseling. I am not a professional therapist/counselor.
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You can change what you are and where you are by changing what you put into your life. -Zig Ziglar


"Nothing is more dangerous than an NCO or Officer who has been taught a technique or method, but doesn't understand the underlying principles or the "why" behind it." -MtnGoat

"How can someone improve their ability to lead? Die to self.

The most rewarding thing a leader will receive is having someone place their life in your hands and say, I will follow you." -SGT Gary Beikirch
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Old 09-02-2014, 03:14   #125
akv
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Angus Mac,

FWIW, on the recommendation of a number of friends who served, I read "What It is Like to Go to War" by Karl Marlantes.

He left Yale in 1969 to volunteer for service in Vietnam, where he won the Navy Cross as a USMC platoon leader. His candor, eloquence, humility, and philosophical observations on lessons learned both there and back, and the difference between sadness and regrets are hard to forget.
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Old 06-25-2017, 00:08   #126
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Old 07-25-2017, 04:06   #127
JamesIkanov
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I'm just going to throw out something that has personally helped me. I'm in no way BTDT, but everyone has to deal with a bit of stress now and again. One of the things I've found quite helpful is what some people might call a "Mantra". It's simply a short phrase that you mentally, or if you have to, verbally (I find murmuring under your breath works best), repeat to help you stay focused and motivated. The continuous repetition can, in many cases, help shift you to a more positive or focused state of mind. I've personally used this technique while pushing myself to do things that I didn't think I could do physically or that I thought would be more challenging than they were. It's not a magic bullet, but if it works for you it helps you keep going after you hit the wall physically or if you're just fucking tired, or whatever.

A few tips:
1. A short, concise phrase, or even a series of words works best. The longer it is the more energy you have to put towards dredging it up, the less you have left to stay focused.
2. It can and should be anything meaningful or impactful to you personally. The set of words is yours. If you create your own phrase, it will likely be more effective than a generic "inspirational" quote.
3. You should (in my experience, at least) avoid a negative mantra if at all possible. Black humor can work, but something genuinely negative (so and so will kick my ass if I don't finish) is something that personally hasn't worked for me. In fact, I've seen a bit of a performance drop associated with repetitive negative phrases.
4. It's just some words. They might help you push yourself a little harder on that last couple of pushups or the last few miles when it starts suddenly raining, or whatever, but it's not magic that will compensate for a mistake already made. It's just a tool to help you push through some shit.

Some examples:

"Calm, Cool, Collected." (primarily utilized to help keep sharp/focused under pressure)

"History has no more room for cowards." (feeling a bit nervous?)

"If you feel done then you're only 40% spent." (trying to push through that last little bit and feeling like shit. I didn't come up with it.)


It might be helpful, might be me being MOTO. I've never bothered to ask if anyone else does the same thing because frankly it's rather personal, but I have noticed it significantly help my mental fortitude.

oh, one of my favorites:

"There is always some small thing you can do to improve whatever shit you're in. Always."

It's the longest by far but it's probably the most useful for when some shit's really going sideways, IME. Locking up in the moment because shit looks hopeless is sometimes worse than quitting.

But all this shit is just my own philosophical take on it, and I'm hardly an expert. I'm just in the process of trying to cultivate a mindset and thought I'd share something that was helpful.
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Old 07-26-2017, 04:49   #128
miclo18d
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesIkanov View Post
I'm just going to throw out something that has personally helped me. I'm in no way BTDT, but everyone has to deal with a bit of stress now and again. One of the things I've found quite helpful is what some people might call a "Mantra". It's simply a short phrase that you mentally, or if you have to, verbally (I find murmuring under your breath works best), repeat to help you stay focused and motivated. The continuous repetition can, in many cases, help shift you to a more positive or focused state of mind. I've personally used this technique while pushing myself to do things that I didn't think I could do physically or that I thought would be more challenging than they were. It's not a magic bullet, but if it works for you it helps you keep going after you hit the wall physically or if you're just fucking tired, or whatever.
I never knew it had a name but when I was a young soldier carrying ungodly amounts of weight on ungodly long road marches with my feet crying and my shoulders aching, I would tell myself that I would quit at the top of the next hill. At the top of the hill I would tell myself that I could let gravity take me down the hill. This usually went on until some would say that we had arrived at our destination. That and I always had an ear worm song that I would repeat in my head for many miles. The song usually sucked but had a good pace with the march. Juice Newton 'Queen of Hearts' was one such song, another was Eddie Rabbit 'Drivin My Life Away'

Eventually, your body gets so hardened that it just gets used to it. After Ranger school I could have marched around the world but my running had taken a hit. my train up for SFAS was a 6 mile ruck march before going on 2 weeks of leave. I was always in units that exceeded the standard physically, so no worries there. Mentally I told myself that if I failed I would end up as a squad leader in the 82d Windblown Diversion. The other motivator in SFAS was watching others quit, made the chow line shrink, which meant I could take my time eating while sitting at a table, not having to shovel it down my throat standing next to the trash can outside.

Motivation takes on many forms. The only one you NEED is I WILL NOT QUIT!!!!
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