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Old 05-18-2019, 17:30   #1
JJ_BPK
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Saudi Arabian Prince Caught in Bacon Trafficking Scandal

Derka Derka Derka

LMAO


Quote:

A Saudi Arabian prince has been caught in an international bacon trafficking scandal involving hundreds of members of the Saudi royal family reports the Jerusalem Herald this morning.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi is actually being detained by Israel authorities after trying to smuggle over 2,000 kilos of undeclared various pig meat products.

The 2,000 kilos of processed meat originally declared as “veal meat” were found to be suspicious by local authorities who eventually realized the meat was, in fact, pig meat, a delicacy which is under heavy scrutiny by the country’s laws and that makes pig farming a crime in most regions of Israel except for a minority of Christian Arab communities that are allowed by law to raise the farm animals.

Saudi authorities have not taken to the news kindly as Saudi Arabia’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, Adel Al Jubeir, has accused Israel of “framing a member of the royal family” in a disloyal attempt to “attack the reputation of the royal Saudi family” and is asking for the immediate release of Prince Adel Al-Otaibi and his 17 bodyguards.


Prince Adel Al-Otaibi, who is renown for his outlandish ways and extravagant parties, made international headlines last year after rumors spread on social media that he had offered $1 million dollars to Kim Kardashian for an evening with the celebrity. Although Kim Kardashian never publicly confirmed the rumor, she was spotted at Riyadh King Khalid International Airport weeks later by paparazzi.


In 2010, Wikileaks released leaked documents originating from US diplomats describing a world of sex, drugs and rock’n’roll behind the official pieties of the Saudi Arabian royalty, where liquor and prostitutes were present in abundance, all things strictly prohibited by Saudi law and custom.

Saudi Arabia prohibits the import, use, or possession of pork, as pork is held to be contrary to the tenets of Islam.

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/sau...kdh28yXMpCNX7Q
You just can't stop a farm boy after he's had a little PIG loving
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Old 05-20-2019, 07:35   #2
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Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Want some bacon?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: No man, I don't eat pork.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Are you Jewish?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Of course I am you idiot, you are in Jerusalem - but regardless, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Why not?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Because the pig has a cloven hoof that is completely split and will not regurgitate its cud. I do not eat of their flesh, and will not touch their carcasses.
Plus...
...Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Yeah, but Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Verily I swear to you that sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers - Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense to disregard its own feces.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
...and goats, them bitches are pretty nasty too.

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: I don't eat dog either.
...but goats my friend, they are not terrible to eat - when covered in the hot sauce of Pete, from Texas.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
...did I mention how delicious goat is when it is doused in in the hot sauce of Pete, from Texas.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfucking pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: This is stupid - you cannot arrest me for trying to enjoy a little bacon - you will regret this injustice upon me once my infidel American pig-dog lawyer has gotten his hands on you.
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Last edited by Box; 05-20-2019 at 07:41.
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Old 05-20-2019, 14:32   #3
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Saudi Arabian Prince Response?

Lawyer, Lawyer, Lawyer....
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Old 05-20-2019, 17:13   #4
TWITCHY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Want some bacon?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: No man, I don't eat pork.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Are you Jewish?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Of course I am you idiot, you are in Jerusalem - but regardless, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Why not?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Because the pig has a cloven hoof that is completely split and will not regurgitate its cud. I do not eat of their flesh, and will not touch their carcasses.
Plus...
...Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Yeah, but Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Verily I swear to you that sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers - Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense to disregard its own feces.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
...and goats, them bitches are pretty nasty too.

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: I don't eat dog either.
...but goats my friend, they are not terrible to eat - when covered in the hot sauce of Pete, from Texas.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
...did I mention how delicious goat is when it is doused in in the hot sauce of Pete, from Texas.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Israeli Pork Enforcement Agent: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfucking pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: This is stupid - you cannot arrest me for trying to enjoy a little bacon - you will regret this injustice upon me once my infidel American pig-dog lawyer has gotten his hands on you.

Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: You gotta try the pork burger. That is one tasty burger.
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Old 05-20-2019, 19:39   #5
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Liberty Meadows' Dean, The Male Chauvinist Pig:
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File Type: jpg Jen Dean pork rib.jpg (41.9 KB, 33 views)
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Old 05-20-2019, 21:05   #6
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Originally Posted by TWITCHY View Post
Prince Adel Al-Otaibi: You gotta try the pork burger. That is one tasty burger.

What kinda porkburgers?

...where do you get them? McDonald's, Wendy's, Jack-in-the-Box, where? Me, I can't usually get porkburgers because all of my wives are Muslim which pretty much makes me a Muslim but I do love the taste of a good porkburger.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, or The 1st Special Forces Regiment. These opinions are provided purely as social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

...Hillary Klint0n is NOT my president


"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
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Old 05-21-2019, 02:31   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Box View Post
What kinda porkburgers?

...where do you get them? McDonald's, Wendy's, Jack-in-the-Box, where? Me, I can't usually get porkburgers because all of my wives are Muslim which pretty much makes me a Muslim but I do love the taste of a good porkburger.
Box, it’s kind of like the Royale with Cheese, but sooo much better. Unfortunately, they’re being imported to a few select markets in France and London. I’ve heard if they do well, there, New York and D.C might get some.
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