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Old 03-13-2017, 05:18   #1
Guymullins
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Nothing changes much

In researching a follow up book to Osama's Angel, I came across some interesting interaction between Muslim and Christians in the 1600's.
An incident in the 1676 showed a power-crazy Muslim trying to intimidate some Cossacks. Here are the letters to one another.

Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:
As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.
--Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes, parodying the Sultan's titles:
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shallt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
A painting of the Cossacks composing their reply is attached.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg C6pVYgWWwAA6_7F.jpg-large.jpg (69.9 KB, 103 views)
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Old 03-13-2017, 14:50   #2
Badger52
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LMAO. "F you" may be simpler but, by a long shot, neither as elegant nor as conducive to such fine artwork.
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Old 03-13-2017, 23:19   #3
CSB
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Not nearly as terse as "nuts."
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Old 03-14-2017, 13:05   #4
Guymullins
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSB View Post
Not nearly as terse as "nuts."
Or "If"
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